Why is this? Why is it so hard for me to live in the present and fully enjoy the adventure I am currently in?
I have figured out that before these adventures happen I envision what they will be like, the awesome things I will get to do, the people I will get to meet or hang out with, the sites I will see (all of this going on while I am currently in a great adventure)....the list can go on. Often times, I think about these events so much that when they actually happen, it's not as exciting. Plus it distracts me from the adventure I am currently in. I have a problem.
Hi, my name is Kenzi and I have a problem living in the present.
The truth is out. Everyone knows now. Please don't judge me. This is not a new problem. I have struggled with this for years now.
"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24
Today, I am starting new. Today, I am learning how to live in the present. So much life happens in the present that I feel just passes me by because I am so focused on the future and what lies ahead. I'm not talking about not planning for the future. I am all for that. I am talking about mentally, physically, emotionally being present.
I always feel most present when I am in nature. Why is that? I think it is because we have to be present. We have to use all our senses while hiking, swimming, biking, rock climbing, etc. Well, I don't want to only feel present in nature. So, I am learning to turn off the TV and put my phone down while my daughter is awake. Now listen, I could watch hours of a TV series on Netflix, but I am learning how fast babies really grow and I want to make sure I am soaking up every minute I can with Emma. I keep hearing "she will be in college before we know it" (cue ugly cry)!
I also find it is easier for me to be in the present when I am trying new things. This can be anything from doing yoga on top of a building with a friend to trying a new local restaurant with the family. Maybe for me, living in the present means doing things that use my focus and attention. One thing I have know is that when you let God direct your path for the day, no one day is the same.
As we are preparing to move and live in Kenya, I pray that I am able to learn how to live and rejoice for the new and present day. A reason I really want to learn how to live presently is because I don't want to move to Kenya and try to build relationships with individuals and be focused on my next trip home or our next great adventure. Now, of course I will be missing my family and things back home, but I want to be fully there in the present with the people of Kenya. I want to know them and I want them to know me and in order for that to truly happen, I need to be mentally present. I love the quote by Jim Elliot,
"Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
It is so easy for us to think about the next adventure and to live in the future. It is a lot harder for us to live in the present. To intentionally focus our time and attention on something that is happening in the here and now. I pray that this next year I am able to learn to live in the present and trust the path God sets before me daily.
Blessings,
Kenzi
